malaise*lithium

Just this morning I realized what you wrote
as I went outside I buttoned up my coat,
pulled the collar close around my throat,
and I stopped into the store.
I learned not to go there anymore
and when she asked me, what else could I do
except admit the fact that I had words with you?

I find my thoughts straying there a lot,
to that voiceless time I’d not forgot,
and I was there more often than I was not,
until I saw your picture in the news.
And I guess that I had to choose
if it was going to be a scar or a tattoo,
it would take to prove that I had words with you.

At first I thought it must be a mistake
and I sat so long my legs began to ache.
Such a cruel thing for anyone to fake
when I found you written in that book,
and I flipped back for another look,
but that book has been overdue
ever since the night that I had words with you.

I turned the music up loud enough to hear;
for the sound of the street outside to disappear,
and wrote a letter you would have found sincere.
But I discovered you singing in that song
and I should have known it all along,
because I was listening closer than I wanted to
trying to understand the words I had with you.